


Pumpkin Death Smell

by Cerise_anouk



Series: Halloween Fics [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: But whatever, F/M, I do what I want, One Shot, Steve's a hater, Tony's a hater, and the Iron grumpy cat, attack of captain wet sandwich, halloween fic, i know its still september, pre-James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, pumkin spice bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8101876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerise_anouk/pseuds/Cerise_anouk
Summary: In an instant Bucky has his face mask snapped back on and a gun out, scanning the area for combatants and casualties, “What is it –nerve gas? Paralyzing agent?”“Worse,” Tony intones gravely, his voice coming out tinny as he’d lowered his face plate to filter the air.Steve turns his head to address his best friend, blue eyes serious as a suicide mission, and Bucky can see a muscle jump in his tense jaw, “Pumpkin Spice.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I know. It's still September. Blah blah blah I do what I want. The virus has taken over and I've got more coming.

As soon as the common room doors slid open the three team members were assaulted by a wall of stench that rolled over them like a tidal wave of smell.

In an instant Bucky has his face mask snapped back on and a gun out, scanning the area for combatants and casualties, “What is it –nerve gas? Paralyzing agent?”

“Worse,” Tony intones gravely, his voice coming out tinny as he’d lowered his face plate to filter the air.

Steve turns his head to address his best friend, blue eyes serious as a suicide mission, and Bucky can see a muscle jump in his tense jaw, “Pumpkin Spice.”

Just then Darcy meanders in wearing black leggings, a soft paid shirt with the cuffs hanging unbuttoned and thick, plum colored wool socks; an extra-large mug of something steamy held in her greige tipped fingers.

Stopping when she catches sight of them standing warily in the doorway, “Hey guys, welcome back. All fingers and toes accounted for?”

“Darcy,” Steve says carefully, taking in the worrisome number of various sized poorly painted spooky faced pumpkins, Halloween window clings, plastic skeletons, mini hay bales, an overabundant amount of fake spider webs and the low sounds of the Monster Mash playing over the speakers, “What’s going on here.”

Glancing around like she was just noticing the black and orange vomit covering the room for the first time, “Oh. We thought the base was lacking in the sprit department while you guys were out curb stomping bad guys,” seeing their less than enthusiastic expressions, “They said it was cool.”

“ _They?”_ Tony inquires, snapping his face mask up, flinching as the smell hit him anew, “I’m confused. Are there some other people that pay the bills for this place hanging around that I don’t know about? Because if so, I’ve got some receipts we need to square away.”

The lab manager/PR savant rolls her eyes at the genius, billionaire, blah, blah, blah, “Dude, can you go like, one day without mentioning that you’re uber rich and could buy an entire sub-continent if you wanted to? Or will you explode if you hold it in? Like that farting episode on South Park. Maybe I should put it in your Que. It’s all about moderation, Tony.”

A side door whispers open and Natasha, Bruce, Sam, Wanda, and Vision walk in all carrying steamy mugs as well.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Tony demands, starring in increasing horror at the ugly green sweater vest decorated with black cats and witches Vision was rocking.

“It is an article of clothing depicting festive icons representing the commercialized pagan holiday of All Hallows Eve, or as in more recent centuries, Halloween,” pulling it slightly away from his body, “Do you like it? I saw it town earlier when we went to acquire the necessary decorations. Darcy said that if it ‘called’ to me then I must ‘make it mine’. Wanda and Natasha have both assured me that I look quite dashing in it.”

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights when his former cyber butler/secret thought as child turned his sincere bionic puppy dog eyes on him, “uhh….”

“Miss Lewis,” Steve says using his best Captain America voice, trying to breathe through his mouth (it wasn’t helping), “This is a highly militarized strategic facility. Not a-a-“

“Hipster campus coffee shop?” Tony supplies.

“One of those. I don’t think these decorations send quite the message of professionalism we’re striving for here.”

“Well,” Bruce pipes up, “We,” he glances at a Wanda (who was sporting a pair of giant, fuzzy monster slippers), Vision, Sam Darcy and a smirking Natasha, “all thought the place could use a little Halloween cheer.”

“So we went on a field trip to Walmart,” Natasha finishes for him.

“Walmart has everything,” Wanda says, clearly repeating something she’d been told, “But is not good for Halloween costume. Darcy says we go to the sprit place for trick or treating outfits.”

Steve blinks in surprise and notices the Frankenstein mug Banner was holding for the first time, “…..All of you did this?”

Beside him Bucky tentatively removes his mask and takes a hesitant sniff.

Darcy rolls her eyes, “Well yeah, what’d you think, that I hauled all these pumpkins into this joint by myself? You’re grossly overestimating my enthusiasm for anything that involves heavy lifting.”

“That’s what lab grunts are for,” Bruce adds and Darcy smiles brightly at him, holding up her fist for an air bump which he promptly returns and they do a finger explosion.

“Et tu, Bruce?” Tony asks dramatically, giving the gamma guru a look full of betrayal.

“This place looks great,” Sam states definitively, marching over and flopping down on one of the deep, plush couches now sporting a throw covered in dancing mummies and bats, “Y’all need to pull those sticks outta your asses and loosen up a little. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a date with Micheal, Jason, Freddy, Freddy vs. Jason, Young Frankenstein, The Great Pumpkin, and a shit-ton of other spook-tacular movies you wet sandwiches ain’t interested in. FRIDAY, load ‘em up.” The giant tv that took up a large portion of the wall blinked to life and a man holding a huge kitchen knife and wearing a rubber mask fills the giant screen.

“S’not so bad once you get used to it,” Bucky murmurs, taking a deep breath and Steve shoots him a scandalized look.

Shooting him a small smirk back he shrugs his flesh and bone shoulder and strolls over to where everyone was now staking claims to spots on various furniture, “What’cha got there, Lewis?” he asks Darcy with a tilt of his chin towards her mug.

“Apple Betty,” she takes a sip, never breaking eye contact, “Wanna try?” she holds the mug decorated with a chibi evil cyborg on it, “It’s like drinking caffeinated apple pie.”

“Apple pie, huh?” Bucky wraps a large hand over hers where it grasps the mug and brings the ceramic cup up to his mouth, never taking his eyes off of hers, and presses his lips to her smudged red lipstick stain that marks the rim, sipping. Surprise fills his artic blue eyes and he pulls the cup away, looking down at its contents, “Damn, tastes like apple pie.”

“Told you. Sooo,” Bucky looks down to where she’s poking his abs with one dainty finger of her free hand, “Do you wanna watch Halloween movies with us? We can wait if you want to go change first or whatever. I was going to pop some kettlecorn anyways,” she asks, looking up at him through her lashes coyly.

A slow smile pulls up Bucks lips and he nods at her mug, “Only if you throw one’a these in, too.”

“Deal.” Darcy snaps him a jaunty little salute and scampers off to the kitchen on her quest for the elusive kettlecorn. Lucky for her she already had a whole pot of Apple Betty at the ready. While amazing in taste one did not rush the delicate procedure that went into the birthing of said delicious hot tasty beverage.

“Hurry up, Barnes,” Nat orders from her spot snuggled up next to Bruce, “Jamie Lee Curtis’ scream ain’t gonna wait all day.”

Rolling his eyes at the back of her red head Bucky glances at the kitchen where Darcy’s scuttling about and softly smiles before striding towards the doors, completely ignoring Steve and Tony’s WTF looks of betrayal that they were pegging him with.

“Buck!” Steve hisses.

“Should of known you’d be the first to turn traitor, Barnes,” Tony heckles as he strides past them, “Asshole.”

Bucky flips them the finger over his shoulder as he hoofs it down the hall, never looking back.

Sending a disgusted look at the group congregating around the tv, “Whatever. I’m gonna go do Man Stuff in my lab.” The man known as Iron Man says in as macho of a tone as he can muster.

“I’ll come with you,” Steve says, sending a dirty look his team members’ way. Anything to escape the pumpkin death smell.

Turning on their heels the two stalk righteously away.

“Wait till he sees what we did to his lab,” Sam says nonchalantly as soon as the doors hiss quietly closed, amusement tinging his voice.

Bruce snorts a laugh into his mug, then takes another healthy sip.

This Apple Betty drink was no joke.

**Author's Note:**

> -I feel like Natasha is wearing Halloween themed panties, and therefore didn't need to be described as nobody but the good dr. banner will be seeing them.  
> -There's a South Park episode where farts are the cause of global warming, so everyone stops farting and they star spontaneously combusting. The solution is moderation.  
> -Michael (Myers) is the scary killer dude from the Halloween movie series. It's first one was made in 1978  
> -Jamie Lee Curtis' scream is epic in this film. It's arguably, by critics, what sling shot her career.  
> -Jason is the scary evil dude that sprung from Michael Myers success only he wears a hockey goalie mask and rocks an axe. His franchise is Friday 13th.  
> -Freddy (Krueger) is the burnt up guy with wolverine gloves that gets you in your sleep. He's terrifying. TERRIFYING.  
> -Young Frankenstein is an oldie but funny as hell. so funny.  
> -It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown  
> \- APPLE BETTY is fall special: apple & spice infused syrup and almond milk in a cappuccino at Toby's Estate Coffee in Brooklyn. There's an online hack on the coffee site Sprudge that gives you the ingredients for the syrup but no measurement amounts. but if you're feeling adventurous....


End file.
